Alive: A Maiden Warrior Fic
by Queen-of-the-Merry-Men
Summary: After tumbling through time Marian finds her life in shambles. Her son doesn't know her. Her husband is in the arms of another. And she finds herself drifting along, surviving but not really living. One night, as she's drowning her sorrows at the Rabbit Hole, she finds herself joined by a surprising drinking buddy. One who will remind her what it means to be alive.


**Just a short little one shot I dug out of my old folders.**

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All she wanted was a drink.

She never expected this.

The night before had been rough. The ones where her son left her always were. It was strange living in this new world. Living in this new time. In her head she knew that years had gone by but in her heart it felt like it had only been a few months. No more than half a year.

But apparently, that's all it'd taken for her to lose everything that mattered.

Ever since "the Savior" had pulled her into that portal things had been wrong. She used to have a beautiful baby boy. Now she had a five-year-old that barely recognized her face. She used to have a man who loved her and adored her more than anyone else. And now she had, what they call in this world, an "ex-husband" whose heart now belonged to the same woman who'd once thrown her into a dungeon.

Nothing was as she remembered. And nothing was as it should be.

Half the time she wished she'd just died in that dungeon. It certainly would've been less painful.

Finding out how time had moved on without her had been shock to say the least. Her son had grown, her husband had… moved on. In a way she'd never felt such a strange mixture of pity and anger than when she'd watched her husband in the first few weeks after she'd returned. A part of her had been so enraged to know that he'd fallen in love with her. Of all the women in all the realms it had to be the one who'd torn her away from her family in the first place. It was…fate's cruelest twist. But another part of her, the one that still loved him, the one that would never stop loving him despite how much he'd stopped loving her couldn't stand to see him in so much pain.

He'd tried to hide it. He really had but it always so glaringly obvious to her. She could see it in the tightness of his smile, feel it in lightness of his touch and in the flicker of disappointment that ran through his eyes every morning when he woke up and realized that she wasn't _her_. It was too much. She couldn't live with it. She couldn't make him live with it.

Those three months where they'd tried to rediscover what had been lost between them were the most miserable of her entire life. Dungeon included.

So she'd let him go.

Or rather let them go she should say.

She couldn't separate Roland from his father, not when he barely knew her.

And she'd tried, god had she tried, so very hard to find her place in this world. Robin had found her a home (with the queen's help she suspected even though she knew he'd never say so). And she saw Roland nearly every day. He spent a few nights a week with her and she saw him during the day when he came to the school where she worked as a librarian, reading to him and the other small children that came into her room. It wasn't as much was when he'd been a baby, but it was enough. Or at least that was what she'd told herself.

For a while she could almost convince herself it was working. She had a home, a son and a place to go every day, a purpose. It should've been enough. She'd pretended that it was.

But then last night happened and she'd seen them.

He'd left his jacket at her house. So small but still she could barely believe that he was able to fit in it now. And she could've waited to bring it back. It was still warm out and he had others, she knew he did. It was just… she was still his mother. And she still wanted to make sure that he was warm.

She'd grabbed it and headed down to the road where he lived with his father and… _her_. She didn't plan to say much, or stay for long. She'd just wanted to give her son his jacket.

But then… she saw them.

All of them.

Robin. The queen. Her son and theirs.

Through the window she saw them.

They were together.

They were happy.

They didn't miss her.

Watching them, smiling and laughing together without her, her heart shattered. She realized that despite her adjustments and despite her routine that there was still a hole in her life where they had once been. Her heart still ached for her family.

But theirs did not ache for her.

They'd stopped aching long ago.

She left the jacket on the queen's porch. She didn't even stay to ring the doorbell.

Instead she'd wandered back into town. She'd hoped the cold air and a brisk walk would be enough to quell the pain she'd felt but sadly she was mistaken. After a while she'd wound up in front of the Rabbit Hole. She'd never been inside before but Little John had once told her that the place was like a tavern of sorts. Now she'd never been one to drink away her pain but after what she'd just seen… it's not like it could hurt.

Taking one more look at the neon sign she went inside.

It was different than the tavern she and Robin had run together, darker and somehow less safe, but she knew where to go to get a drink.

She'd taken a seat at the bar and ordered their "finest ale", that bartender's words not hers. She silently sipped at her drink, willing it to dull the ache inside her chest.

It didn't.

She wanted to drink alone, to finish her pathetic ale, go back to her pathetic home (that her husband's new love had chosen for her), crawl under her blankets, close her eyes and forget about her pathetic life for at least a few hours.

But then someone had sat next to her.

She'd immediately rolled her eyes, mentally preparing to fend off whatever advances the other bar patron had planned to send her way.

"What are you doing here?"

Her guard went down when she heard that voice. Harsh, direct but still distinctly feminine. She recognized it. Turning her head, she found herself staring into a pair of amber, almond-shaped eyes.

"Mulan."

She said her name in a breathless whisper, one full of surprise. But the woman next to her wasn't thrown off by her shock.

She leaned her folded arms against the bar top, keeping her eyes on her face. "Marian," she softly replied. "Never expected to find you in a place like this."

"Never expected to be here," she quietly shot back, a hint of bitterness in her tone. _Not in a million years_ , she silently added.

She returned her attention to the ale in front of her but continued to watch the other woman from the corner of her eye. The warrior. Her face had been a familiar sight during her short-lived days at the merry men's new camp. It'd been a little surprising to see another woman among the sea of men she'd once thought of as family. For so long she'd been the only one. The men had always seemed quite fond of her though. They carried full faith in her abilities despite their apprehensiveness about her demeanor. Mulan was after all solider amid of sea of thieves. She carried a certain dignity in her aura that none of them could match. It was something Marian couldn't help but admire in her.

"What are you doing here?" she repeated, this time softer with less urgency in her tone.

"Just having a night cap," Marian answered.

Mulan remained silent for a moment. "Mind if I join you?"

Marian raised an eyebrow at her. "Why?"

"Because drinking alone isn't fun," said Mulan, "Or particularly safe, especially if you're a woman in a place like this."

She had to concede that Mulan had a point. The clientele for the Rabbit Hole did appear to be distinctly male, and not of a particularly honorable sort at that. Perhaps she could use a drinking buddy. Marian nodded her head in acceptance. "Alright."

If the warrior wanted to join her pity party who was she to stop her. Besides it hardly mattered. She wasn't going to have more than one drink.

Or at least that's what she'd thought at the time.

One drink of ale had quickly turned two shots of rum… which in turn morphed into another shot of vodka… which inexplicably turned into two shots of a particularly heady drink called tequila.

But the drinks weren't the only thing that changed.

After downing shot after shot Marian felt her inhibitions grow weak and her walls begin to fade. Feelings, things she wouldn't dare utter sober, started to tumble from her mouth. Her anger, her loneliness… her heartbreak. She revealed it all to the woman sitting next from her, the woman who a day earlier she hadn't spoken more than two sentences to.

A woman who let her speak.

Who didn't dismiss her drunken ramblings on her feelings.

Who listened with eyes that suddenly seemed much softer and a sympathy that Marian hadn't allowed anyone to give her in weeks.

Mulan listened and comforted her. Told her, with words that were only slightly slurred, that her feelings were natural, that they would fade when the time was right and not a moment sooner.

She didn't know how long they sat there, drinking and talking. It felt like forever and a minute at the same time. But she did know that she stumbled with the first step she took off her barstool. Her ankle rolled, she nearly fell over but she laughed. My god, how long had it been since she'd done that. She'd almost forgotten what it felt like.

Mulan's hand was on her waist within seconds. A soft giggle fell from her lips to Marian's ears and suddenly Marian realized that she'd never heard such an enchanting sound.

She insisted on walking Marian home, an offer Marian knew better than to refuse given the state she was in not that she would've.

Regaining her balance, she and Mulan left the Rabbit Hole and set out onto the streets toward her home, laughter on their lips and stars in their eyes. The cool night air feeling good against their warm skin.

Side by side they walked, the silence only intermittingly broken by soft laughter or a mumbled direction. Thankfully Mulan wasn't nearly as drunk as she was or they would've never found their way home.

When they reached Marian's house, her shoes were kicked off before they even opened the door. The door opened and it struck her yet again how lonely it would be inside.

"You should stay. It's late."

Not a slur in her sentence, her words were clear as the night sky.

For a moment she could see hesitation in Mulan's eyes but reason eventually won out. It was late, she'd been drinking… and Marian's hand was already on hers, pulling her inside.

Neither of them would be able to say who initiated what but soon enough lips were pressed to lips and hands were placed on hips and waists. It started gentle and tentative but soon grew hungry and desperate. Fingers went through hair and jackets were slipped off shoulders.

Marian felt like she was floating and not because of the alcohol. Her touch was fire, it left her burning and wanting more.

They made it to the bed in seconds, only separating for the few seconds it took whip their shirts over their heads.

It was different than what she was used to. She and Robin had never struggled in this area but with Mulan things were… more. It's the only way she could describe it. Every touch, no matter how light, vibrated through her body. Her kisses were healing, their connection was electric. Using her tongue she drove her into frenzy again and again only pulling away to watch her explode in ecstasy around her fingers.

It was more than she'd ever felt in one night.

And she never wanted it to end.

Morning came and she was still in her bed, staring into those amber almond-shaped eyes as their owner traced lazy lines up and down her spine. They were still skin to skin, and she didn't think she'd ever felt anything better. Their hands hadn't left each other all night. Lying in bed with this beautiful woman next to her, she felt something she'd hadn't felt in months.

Alive.

Not just living.

But actually, fully, beautifully alive.

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 **Hope you liked it! Let me know if you did.**


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